Tom, Alex’s dad, is a “stand up” guy. He is trying to get her out of the institution, and eventually he will, but not until she understands what reality really means. Most of the time, she seems to be trapped in a drowsy haze of confusion. From sleeping walking, to imagining that she sees ghosts, she’s a wreck. Sometimes, I see her sitting still, just thinking, almost praying. She believes that by thinking something, she can make it happen.

Oh, gawd though, that Alex, she is fun. Here is what happened today.

“Sam, my dad is coming to see me today.”
“Cool. What do you guys do when he’s here?”
“We talk. It’s the best time ever, but he doesn’t visit enough, I never get to see him.”

From what I have heard, Tom visits more than anyone else.

“When are you expecting him?”
“Now, or close to . . . oh there he is, being escorted in. Isn’t he handsome?”
“Um . . .”

Tom was neither handsome, ugly, nor plain faced. He just looked like a father, like Alex’s father.

“Daddy, oh Daddy, I am so happy to see you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Hello Alex.”
“Let’s hurry and talk because I get so little time with you to talk because you never visit me.”
“I visited you last week.”
“Daddy, let’s not argue. It’s just nice that you’re here now and that I finally get to see you.”

They walked off, and when she came back, she was daddy free and ready to party.

“Sam, let’s sneak out.”
“OK.”
“Seriously though, let’s sneak out.”
“Sure.”
“Will you seriously sneak out with me.”
“Yeah.”
“For real.”
“Yes, Alex, yes - let’s sneak out - should be fun.”
“Well, what should we do - where do you want to go?”
“I don’t care where we go, but let’s pretend that we are British.”
“OK - can we use fake names?”
“You use a fake name; I’ll just stick with my real one, Sam.”

So, at that moment, Penelope (Alex in disguise) and I sneaked out. That was great fun. It was amazing and weird. It was raining, and we just rolled around in the grass. We ran up to strangers on the street, having whole conversations with them, being invited into there homes and yards. I can’t even remember everything that happened, but it was so liberating, being able to talk to these people without any rules or conventions, and they appreciated it; they loved us for it.

Thank you so much Alex for that time, for that wonder and that knowledge of how to be. I did not understand before and could not have understood before experiencing it with you.

From inside a mental institution:

Signing off, Sam